


Comfort

by Cerberus_Revised



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Egoist - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 17:10:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4674737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerberus_Revised/pseuds/Cerberus_Revised
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been the most miserable night at the hospital and Nowaki couldn't wait for it to be over. So, when he saw Tsumori coming towards him at the end of his shift, wearing the particular expression he did whenever he was going to ask him for a few extra hours (it was a look Nowaki was more familiar with than he cared to be), he just shook his head before the man even spoke.</p><p>"I'm done." </p><p>His voice was respectful but firm and they had worked together long enough now their conversations had become incredibly concise. Tsumori's eyes widened, but he nodded silently. He'd heard about what happened and understood what Nowaki was telling him. </p><p>With that Nowaki turned and simply walked out of the hospital<br/>------------<br/>Moved over from Fanfiction where this was part of the "A Thousand Words" series under my penname Cerberus Revised</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Comfort Act I

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica or any of its characters.

It had been the most miserable night at the hospital and Nowaki couldn't wait for it to be over. So, when he saw Tsumori coming towards him at the end of his shift, wearing the particular expression he did whenever he was going to ask him for a few extra hours (it was a look Nowaki was more familiar with than he cared to be), he just shook his head before the man even spoke.

"I'm done." 

His voice was respectful but firm and they had worked together long enough now their conversations had become incredibly concise. Tsumori's eyes widened, but he nodded silently. He'd heard about what happened and understood what Nowaki was telling him. 

With that Nowaki turned and simply walked out of the hospital. He didn't even bother to change out of his work clothes and paid no heed to the strange looks this garnered him on the train ride home.

* * *

 

Nowaki all but staggered into the apartment.

In the dark entry way, he didn't bother with the light as he gratefully kicked off his shoes. His heart was so heavy tonight that the comfortable warmth he normally felt upon entering the home he shared with his lover, breathing in the soothingly familiar fragrance of their mingled scents, even this couldn't lift the weight sitting so heavy in chest.

He stopped in the act of taking off the physician's smock, when he noticed the faint glow emanating from the other hallway where their bedroom was located.

_Is it possible Hiro-san is still up?_

Curious, he shrugged his dislocated sleeve back into place and moved through the space, opening the door softly and stepping quietly into their room, just in case Hiroki had fallen asleep with the light on.

Sure enough, there was his lovely professor, sitting up cross-legged on their futon with his back against the wall at its head. He was holding a thick wedge of papers in his hands, reading. The man had one of his favored red pens held in his sensual mouth; the pages he'd already marked were laid to one side.

Hiroki's glasses had slid low on his nose and his thick hair was wild- not from sleeping though, Nowaki could tell- but from running his hands through it. This was one of the professor's habits of concentration and they sometimes joked that if Hiroki didn't watch out, he was going to stroke himself bald before he turned thirty-five.

Looking up, Hiroki's large, dark eyes grew even wider when he saw Nowaki standing there in his scrubs and white lab coat. Usually Nowaki was meticulous about changing before he came home, even showering at the hospital so that he didn't bring any lingering traces of medicine or sickness into their space.

Seeing Nowaki in that outfit, Hiroki had to admit, never failed to thrill him. He was a handsome man by any standard, but in his medical uniform, Nowaki positively radiated a potent, masculine appeal. Hiroki studied him for a moment, relishing the way his lover's broad shoulders caused the smock to drape; how the bright white fabric brought out the beautiful golden tones of his skin and the rich gloss of Nowaki's almost blue-black hair.

Plucking the red pen from between his lips with one hand, He set the pages in his other to the side. "You didn't give me a panda barrette this morning before you left, Nowaki," he offered this with a note of humor. It was a secret sign that they used when one or the other wished to deviate from their regular sex life with a bit of roleplay.

Nowaki smiled, in appreciation of the rare jest, but didn't quite reach his eyes. "Another thesis student, Hiro-san?" he asked, nodding his head at the papers.

"No," Hiroki growled. "That ass Akihiko has to turn this in to his editor the day after tomorrow and just got it to me today," 

"Oh."

That Usami had been occupying his lover, even in page form while he was gone, annoyed Nowaki.

Seeing the subtle twitch in the younger man's brow and sensing Nowaki's already melancholic state, Hiroki made a show of grumbling further, "I'm lucky, I suppose, to have his miserable prose to keep me distracted when I find myself sleepless and waiting for my partner to come home."

Hiroki held up a page filled with sharp crimson slashes: as if waging war on the page and the man were the same.

It was rare for Hiro-san to concede to missing him and the vehemence of the marks he'd made were more indicative of hacking through, rather than relishing. There was also Hiroki's use of the word "partner." It was a term he had begun using lately, phasing out the previous designations of "boyfriend" or "lover." It gave Nowaki's heart a jolt of pleasure each time Hiro-san used that word: it implied a permanence not found in the others.

He had also noticed that Hiro-san had begun employing it more since he'd finished his residency. He understood that with his professor's careful attention to words and their meanings, that though he had not said it overtly, Hiro-san was telling him that now he was finally a doctor, he wanted him to understand he felt they stood on more equal ground.

n

All this warmed him and Nowaki offered his dear professor the first real smile he had given anyone since his shift had started that evening. Then the events of the night returned to him. Though he tried to hold it in place, he faltered and the grin slipped quickly from his lips.

Catching this, for the first time Hiroki's keen eyes noticed the small spots on the front of Nowaki's scrubs. There was also a spot or two, he suddenly realized, low on the lapel of the white coat.

_Blood._

Realizing the situation was likely far more precarious than he'd first thought, Hiroki watched his beloved partner of over eight years very carefully and waited for Nowaki to say something.


	2. Comfort Act II

Standing there silently a moment, Nowaki then dropped his gaze to see what had so caught Hiro-san's attention. His own eyes narrowed when he too saw the spots. It was the first time he'd noticed them. Without a word he instantly turned and left the room.

Hiroki listened and as soon as he heard the shower running, he sighed. Capping his pen, he put this, Akihiko's manuscript, and his reading glasses on the nightstand. Then he stripped out of his pajamas, grabbed the extra blanket they kept for him from the foot of the futon, wrapped himself up in it, and resumed his previous place on their bed, tucking himself in.

Not long after, Nowaki returned. He wore one towel, wrapped around and hanging low on his narrow hips, while rubbing his dark, wet head with another.

While Nowaki was occupied with this activity, Hiroki's eyes made an appreciative sweep of his partner. His gaze traveled up his giant's long, leanly-muscled legs, over the hard planes of Nowaki's abdomen. Watching the flex of Nowaki's tightly strung arm as the younger man dried his hair, Hiroki was entranced. At last, his roving eyes came to rest on his beloved's face, a carefully arranged mask of concentration.

Hiroki blushed and his gaze drifted down again when Nowaki ceased what he was doing and, rather suddenly, dropped both towels simultaneously. Impressed by the coordination of this act, he was about to comment on it, but stopped when he glanced back up and saw Nowaki looked completely lost.

"Nowaki, what's wrong?" 

The expression in his lover's blue eyes pinched his heart intensely. Nowaki looked at him for a moment and then turned away. 

"Hiro-san, I'm cold."  


Hiroki started, shocked to hear his own words whispered from Nowaki's mouth. He knew immediately that his giant must be feeling a world of pain. 

"Come here you big idiot," he growled, making sure that his voice contained just the right amount of irritation to soothe. "Standing there naked, while visually engaging for me; is not going to help you at all." He awkwardly held the blanket he'd wrapped around himself open in invitation.

Nowaki's sad face at once took on an expression of immense relief. Then he did something unusual. He lifted the blankets at the base of their bed and entered the futon, crawling up from its foot. Hiroki watched with stunned amusement as the sheets swelled with this burrowing and suddenly a pair of blue eyes peered up at him from the cloth tunnel between his parted thighs.

Hiroki shifted himself, leaning back slightly as Nowaki wrapped his long arms around his waist and rested a still-damp head on his low belly.  Deeply moved by how childlike the whole action was, Hiroki sadly imagined a young Nowaki, longing to do just such a thing as a boy and having no one to turn to. Hesitantly, he reached down and smoothed a few moist strands from Nowaki's brow. Emboldened when this action drew a sigh, he continued to softly stroke the dark head below him.

"Nowaki?" Hiroki said the name in the place of his larger question. He felt the broad shoulders against him tense and then softly Nowaki began speaking.

"A woman and her boyfriend brought in her six year-old son tonight. When his mother handed him to me, he was bleeding several places and had a broken arm. They told me he was playing in the stairwell of their apartment building and fell down the stairs." Nowaki was silent for a moment and then looked up Hiroki, his eyes weighted with pain.

"Hiro-san, when I examined him, I knew right away that little boy didn't fall." 

Hiroki grimaced when he realized what Nowaki was telling him. Seeing his lover's understanding, Nowaki nodded soberly and then laid his head back on Hiroki's flat stomach.

"As a doctor I knew I had to stay calm," Nowaki mumbled, Hiroki's belly his confessional. "The mother and her boyfriend were flighty and I didn't want them to try and leave with the boy until after I had a chance to call the authorities."

Hiroki felt Nowaki shudder. He reached down and pulled him upwards so the dark head now rested on his chest. He wrapped his blanketed arms around his giant, folding Nowaki into him.

"I had to stand there and make small talk with the boyfriend, when all I really wanted to do was beat him the same way he beat that poor child." The lingering rage in Nowaki's voice made it husky enough to pull a shiver down Hiroki's spine.  


"While the nurse was setting the cast I made the call. 

"When the police came, the woman started crying. I had noticed bruises on her shoulder when she handed her son to me the first time, so I thought initially she might be weeping with relief."

At this point in his story Nowaki stumbled, "but instead she told me… I had just ruined her life… that now her boyfriend would leave her… and she and her son would have no one to support them."

Hiroki could feel Nowaki's grip around him tighten in new anger and anguish. "When the social workers came to deal with the mother, the boy started crying too and he wouldn't stop. He was so afraid they were taking his mama." An unexpected sob escaped from Nowaki's throat, startling them both. Another threatened to follow, but Nowaki swallowed it back down. When he spoke again his voice was calm, betrayed by only the slightest quiver. 

"Sickness I understand, Hiro-san … Traffic accidents, allergic reactions, any number of the unexpected things that happen, I can deal with these. Though it saddens me immensely anytime a child is ill or their life ends, usually I am eventually reconciled to it, but this…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	3. Comfort Act III

Hiroki ran his fingers through Nowaki's inky hair and waited, understanding that the little's boy's plight had touched one of his giant's deep, broken places.

Nowaki sighed and shivered in their blanketed embrace. "We used to get children at the orphanage sometimes who had been seized from their homes because of abuse." The bitterness carried in these words warred with Nowaki's usually sweet voice. "It made me realize when I was a child that there were worse things than not knowing who your parents were, like having parents who would hurt you or who wouldn't protect you."

As Nowaki sighed again and shifted a bit,  Hiroki felt the flutter of long lashes against the skin of his chest. Reaching down, somewhat clumsily he brushed away the single tear that had caught in the corner of his lover's eye.

"With all the things I see every day, this is the one thing I can't reconcile myself to… Ever…" Nowaki confessed. Dropping his arms from around Hiroki's middle, he pushed himself up off of his chest. Looking searchingly into Hiro-san's eyes; his own held a silent plea for help.

"Hiro-san, it kills me when I think of that boy, that I can set his broken arm, but I still can't save his life…"  


In Nowaki's whispered words Hiroki heard his partner's anguish. He raised a hand and brushed it gently against Nowaki's cheek. Before he could remove it, it was caught and held it there. Nowaki closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

"Nowaki," Hiroki started and then stopped. 

What could he honestly say to that? 

He knew he could tell Nowaki any number of things: that he had done the right thing as much as anyone could have in that situation… That Nowaki couldn't expect to save the world… That now the authorities were involved things would be better for the child, even if he was taken away from his mother and put into the care of strangers. But even if there was truth in all of these things, Hiroki knew that the words, in this moment, would be hollow and Nowaki didn't need any more emptiness.

No, right now what Nowaki needed was to be filled.

So, rather than say anything, Hiroki brought his other hand up capturing his beloved's sweet face for a moment before he leaned in and then captured Nowaki's mouth. When he kissed Nowaki, he was shocked at how receptive the younger man was. It was not that he was being passive, Nowaki responded immediately and deeply to each brush of lips, to the strokes of inquisitive tongue. But rather than reaching out tonight, it seemed that he desperately needed to be reached out to, to be touched.

Hiroki broke their kiss, but continued to tenderly cup Nowaki's face in his hands. He pressed their foreheads together and they sat there for a time in quiet communion. Then he raised his head and kissed Nowaki's brow. Pulling back after this gentle touch, Hiroki looked deeply into his partner's eyes, and then he dropped his hands, leaned back against the wall, and opened his arms again. 

"Come here, Wa-chan."

"Hiro-san," Nowaki breathed, his eyes widened at the never before said name. A look of tremendous gratitude filled his eyes, but there was hesitancy in them as well.

"Wa-chan," Hiroki whispered again, his voice was exceedingly gentle, "come here." He reached forward and drew Nowaki into him.

It was a bit awkward given the difference in their size, but after a few minutes of arranging they were comfortably settled together. Nowaki sat sideways in between his lover's legs. His own long legs were bent at the knee and draped over one lean thigh. Muscular arms wrapped around Hiroki's neck; his shaggy dark head nestled against a broad shoulder. Hiroki had one hand resting low on Nowaki's hip; the other rubbed comforting circles over his back.

"Nowaki?" Hiroki felt the younger man's tension. At the question, he sensed Nowaki stiffen even a little bit more.

"Hiro-san, is this okay?" Nowaki finally asked.

Hearing the unsurety in Nowaki's voice, Hiroki sought to soothe his giant's own particular pride. 

"Dumb-ass, don't you think my backside wouldn't like a break from time to time?..." Adding a bit of extra growl to his voice for good measure, he snorted, "Especially after how you got after it this morning. No, just shut up and sit here. I'll let you know when I'm tired of it."

At these words, Nowaki immediately relaxed into his arms. Hiroki was simultaneously pleased and dismayed by how much Nowaki trusted him. As they sat there, he found himself desperately wanting to tell Nowaki that everything would be okay, but he was too much of a realist and in this moment he could only bear to offer the truth.

The truth was that he loved him… That he was Nowaki's family now… That he couldn't make things right, but that he would be with Nowaki as he struggled through all that was wrong. He offered this truth to through his silence.

Nowaki heard it and understood it. Tears filled his eyes and he for once allowed them to fall.

Hiroki felt hot tears against his bare skin though his giant made no sound at all. He wondered how many silent tears Nowaki had had shed over the course of his extraordinary life. Too many he was sure. He gathered Nowaki closer.

"Wa-chan," he whispered the name once more as an offering.

Hearing this, a shudder wracked Nowaki's lanky frame and he finally broke down. Hiroki held on, held him, until Nowaki's soft sobs finally transformed into the even softer breaths of his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


	4. Comfort: Prologue

It was late afternoon and Nowaki and Hiroki were meandering through one of Tokyo's parks. Their schedules had miraculously coincided for once, so the pair had been sharing a leisurely day in each other's company.

Nowaki had just spent two hours following Hiroki while he browsed for books. So, now, in appreciation of his partner's patience, Hiroki lowered his pride and lied to his giant, telling Nowaki he was tired. He made this declaration just in time for Nowaki to point out an empty bench. Feigning enough reluctance before agreeing to sit Nowaki didn't know he had picked this spot on purpose.

After Nowaki took a seat, Hiroki set his purchases between them, drew a book from his bag of acquisitions, sat down himself, and began pretending to read. Surreptitiously however, he was watching Nowaki over the pages. Observing his lover was far more engaging at this point than any book.

The bench he had carefully maneuvered them to overlooked a playground. Though he didn't really understand it himself, Hiroki had known seeing the brats play would please his partner. He was right. Nowaki observed the children with open delight. Hiroki shook his head in bemusement behind his book. He would have thought Nowaki got enough of the little rug-rats at work.

Nowaki was even more pleased, however, when Hiroki extended one hand to him behind the cover of the separating sack of texts. As soon as he took the proffered hand, both men unconsciously sighed at the same time and settled deeper into the bench.

They had been sitting there about fifteen minutes when a soft voice called, "Dr. Kusama?"

Hiroki immediately tried to draw his hand back, but Nowaki held it in place. He scowled at his partner, but Nowaki just returned this look with a sweet smile. Not wanting a perfectly good glare to go to waste, Hiroki turned his frown on the young woman timidly approaching them. 

He supposed he should have been used to this kind of interruption by now. There was almost nowhere it seemed they could go at this point without running into a one of Nowaki's patients or his own students. The main difference being the direction the person would move when he or she recognized one of them: Nowaki's patients always moved in to greet their doctor, while his students generally tried to make a hasty retreat.

When Nowaki suddenly let go of Hiroki's hand, the professor looked over and saw a strange expression on his lover's face. Usually Nowaki was all smiles when he met his patients or their parents outside the hospital, but this was obviously not the case here.

Nowaki rose and greeted the young woman with a polite bow, "Ah, Miss Nakano."

The young woman smiled hesitantly and returned Nowaki's greeting. She looked over cautiously at Hiroki who had dropped his scowl in pretend pursuit of his book once more.

"Ah, this is my partner, Professor Kamijou." 

Though Hiroki was finally getting used to the fact that this was how Nowaki chose to introduce to almost anyone they met anymore, it still made him blush. He looked back up at Nakano just long enough to nod and then made a conscious effort to appear as though he was ignoring them both.

The woman's eyes widened as she glanced from Nowaki to Hiroki than back to her doctor again, her expression said she wanted to make sure that she understood the implications of the words. Nowaki nodded, in confident confirmation. To her merit, Nakano seemed to recover from this information quickly.

"I am surprised that you still remember me after three months. I mean, you must see so many people at the hospital," she offered shyly.

Nowaki's reply was soft. "Well there are some things one is not likely to forget." 

"Ah yes, Dr. Kusama." The young woman blushed and looked away. "I suppose that is very true."

This sparked Hiroki's curiosity. Though he pretended to continue reading, he was very aware of an anxious energy being exchanged between his partner and this woman. When Nowaki asked, "and may I ask how your son is?" Hiroki noticed his lover's voice was very tight.

The young woman blushed even more deeply, but despite this she offered Nowaki an amazing smile. "Ah, he's much better. Wonderful, in fact. His arm has completely healed. You know he still talks about you, Dr. Kusama."

Nowaki's brow rose slightly at Nakano's words. Then, as though he had been conjured by his mention, a small, wiry boy came charging off the playground and into Nakano's side. He wrapped thin arms around his mother's waist and pressed his face into her hip.

"Mama, you said we could get ice cream soon!" 

The little boy looked up at her, big brown eyes glowing with excitement. His mother ran slender fingers lovingly through her son's dark hair. 

"Eiji, look who's here."

When the little boy saw Nowaki his eyes got huge and he lit up even brighter. "Dr. Kusama!" he cried with delight.

Nowaki sat back down on the bench so that he would be on eye level with the boy, "And how are you doing, Eiji?" 

Eiji suddenly got very shy. He looked over at his mother from under long lashes.

"Go ahead, sweetheart," Nakano encouraged.

With that permission Eiji surprised Nowaki completely. The little boy rushed over, threw his arms around his neck, and hugged him. "Thank you, Dr. Kusama! You saved me and my mama!" 

As soon as he'd said this, Eiji dropped his arms and bolted back into the playground, he darted into a complex of culverts constructed as part of the recreational equipment.

"Eiji!" his mother called after him in mock anger.

Nakano looked at Nowaki and shrugged helplessly, "He's become such a scamp these days." Then she glanced over where the little boy was now cautiously watching them from the entrance of one of the children's tunnels. "But it's such a welcome change from how he was when you met us."

The young woman looked at the ground and a new blush appeared on her cheeks. "Dr. Kusama, I'm so glad we ran into you. You have been on my mind often. I have wanted to apologize so many times for the things I said to you at the hospital that day."

"Miss Nakano, there's no need to apologize, it was a difficult situation." Nowaki started to say something else but the young woman interrupted him.

"No, Dr. Kusama... Please... I need to say this." She had an expression of conviction on her face completely different from the scared, broken woman he had met that day in the emergency room.

"Eiji's right. You didn't ruin my life, you saved it… you saved us both." Nakano's sudden confidence left her and she averted her eyes again. "You know, that wasn't the first time we had been to the emergency room for Eiji… or myself." She added softly, "but no one else ever seemed to see it. Or if they did, they didn't do anything about it."

Nakano glanced back over and waved at her son. He smiled, scrunched his nose, and waved back.

"When Eiji was born, he became the most important person in my life, but then a bunch of things happened and well…" Nakano struggled to find the right words. "I had lost myself in that situation." 

Looking up at Nowaki once more, her dark eyes filled with gratitude. "It took you doing what you did to help me find my way back." She brought a slender hand to her eyes to wipe away a happy tear as she looked over at her son again.

"Eiji and I are living with my parents and I am working and going to school. It's not easy, but it's so much better. We both have new lives now. Thank you, Dr. Kusama."

With that, the young woman bowed and then hurried over to where her young son was halfway hiding. When she drew close he burst from the pipe and into her arms. The two stood there a moment lost in their own world. Then Eiji let his arms fall to the side and, smiling up at his mother, took her hand. She tousled his head and the two of them began moving away from the playground. 

As they walkied away, Eiji looked back one last time waved with his now healed arm. Nowaki smiled and waved back.

Settling back into the bench, this time Nowaki extended his hand back behind the cover of Hiroki's bag of books. Hiroki only made him wait a minute before he took it again.

"Hiro-san, that was…" 

"I know," Hiroki said not looking up.

"Hiro-san," Nowaki sighed after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"Hmmmmm?"

Nowaki looked slyly at Hiroki with a big grin on his face. "If you're going to pretend you're reading, you should probably consider turning the page occasionally."

Damning Nowaki and his directness, Hiroki shot him a fearsome scowl. "Shut up, brat!…This is a really good book… I'm... savoring," he stammered.

Nowaki said nothing, his continued smile spoke for him. Hiroki harrumphed but then closed his book and re-placed it carefully in the bag.

"Are you ready to go home, Nowaki?" He asked hesitantly, aware that his partner was still processing.

"Do you mind if we sit here a bit longer, Hiro-san?" 

Nowaki's blue eyes looked lighter to Hiroki than they had for a long time. He allowed his gaze to become tender for just a moment before he snorted and looked away.

"Fine."

Nowaki turned back to watch the children again with a new smile on his face. They sat together holding hands, watching the activity of the park carry on, seeing everything and nothing simultaneously. They remained that way until the light grew low and the playground was emptied, as parents gathered their children to bundle them home before dark.

Finally Hiroki felt Nowaki shift, signaling at long last he was ready to move. Not that this really mattered to Hiroki, he had entered a rare place of peace that afternoon where he thought he could be quite content to sit there next to his partner like they'd been for the rest of his life if that was what Nowaki needed.

"Hiro-san."

Hiroki turned to the sound of Nowaki's voice and suddenly found his chin captured by one a large hand and Nowaki's lips on his. As soon as his startled eyes made a sweep of the area and he was assured they were alone, he relaxed into a long and tender kiss. He was almost breathless when his giant's lips finally left his. Nowaki didn't release his chin immediately; he held his face, looking deep into his eyes.

"Thank you, Hiro-san." 

"For what?" Hiroki grumbled, pulling free, standing up, and stretching his stiff limbs.

"You know." Nowaki rose himself he picked up the bag of books.

Hiroki pretended he had to think about it. "Oh, you mean for not smacking you for being such an idiot as to kiss me in public."

Nowaki shook his head at his lover's pride. "Yeah. That exactly, Hiro-san."

"Well, if you really want to thank me, you can carry those home." Hiroki offered this knowing Nowaki would anyway. As they left the park walking side by side he added, "And you can buy me dinner at Pandasan, Doctor. I'm starving."

"Sure thing, Hiro-san," Nowaki said smiling as they began moving homewards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
